Children are the Messages We Send to the Future that We will Never See

Nowadays, families with one child are increasing rapidly. Many families believe that control over an only child will be easier. The focus is on an only child and all the love interest is reflected on an only child.

When it comes to an only child, it is more feasible and easier for parents to pay attention to every behavior of the child, make plans, programs and take precautions for the child. However, unlike families with one child, it is very difficult for families with multiple children to pay attention and show care to each of the children separately.

How Should Families With More Than One Child Treat Their Children?

-Families with two or more children should first pay attention to showing equal love and equal attention to each of the children. Many problems between siblings can be caused by parents Decently paying attention to one child and too much to the other. Every child tends to compare himself with his brother, and therefore competition between siblings is possible. Dec. However, while there are rivalries, the equal and fair attitude of parents to children will determine the direction of the relationship Decoupled between siblings. Parents should not be the arbiters in the conflicts between siblings, the Deci-sion of the problem should be left to the children.

There are two things that a child will receive from parents. Love-interest and education. Every child has the right to receive the love and education given to him equally, the attention shown, and he wants to see this concretely. Therefore, parents should not evaluate the child depending on the child’s personal characteristics, success and motivation, they should give the achievements to their children unconditionally.

The Attention of the Family Is Important

-Responsibilities may vary depending on the personal and physical characteristics of each child. Although there are differences between children, the responsibility given to one child should not make the other feel bad. Dec. Children should be given equal responsibilities to each other and sharing and homework should be distributed equally.When a 7-year-old child is given the task of tidying his room, another 5-year-old can also be given the task of collecting toys.

-Parents should make all decisions jointly so that children do not experience contradictions. The child should see that there is a common Decisional mechanism between the parents.

-Parents should have knowledge about development and psychology for children at all age levels and should receive education if necessary.

-Children should rest separately. Apart from the sharing that the whole family will do together, mom and dad should take care of the children individually and listen to them. In families with more than one child, often a problem experienced by the child may not be expressed next to the other sibling. Sharing 15-20 minutes with each child individually will help the child to open himself up.

-A very strict method should not be applied when establishing discipline on children.
-Each child should be given equivalent rewards, and the quality and quantity of rewards should not change according to the children’s motivation and success.

-Empathy should be established with children and events should be viewed through their eyes, sharing should be done at the child’s eye level. Every child should be aware that he/she is treated with the same tolerance and should be able to express his/her thoughts freely.
-In some cases, it may be necessary to treat the child more sensitively and carefully due to some psychological or physiological problems. In such cases, an explanation of the situation should be made to the other brother or sisters and their cooperation should be requested when necessary.
-The whole meaning of brotherhood should be explained to children, and the importance of spiritual achievements, not material achievements, should be emphasized.

If all children are given adequate education, concrete attention and love, and the necessary responsibilities, communication between siblings will strengthen, and children’s self-esteem and self-confidence will increase in this direction. Dec.
When evaluating our children, we should not forget that they have their own world and we should respect their private lives.